| hey. I haven't written here in years and I doubt anybody is going to read this, but whatever.
I just spent an hour or two reading old entries and I seriously have changed so much, hopefully in a good way. I used to be the girl who was oblivious to things and always happy-go-lucky, but I'm not anymore. And that's a good thing, I guess. I mean, I am generally happy, but I definitely am not clueless as to what's going on around me. For lack of a better word, I guess I've become more... jaded. I don't know.
I'm about to be a senior and I'm pretty excited for it. Like I said, I was reading old entries and one of them was about how I went to the parent preview for band in 05 and was really jealous; I said how I wished that they made "portable pianos" because I wanted to be in band so much. That's pretty funny I guess. I found out last night that me and another girl are pit co-captains for this year; I don't really know why I am, but I'll take it. I guess it's just another title I can put on college applications that will look good. That sounds so bad. But whatever, my last band camp EVER just ended. I am so determined to make this the best band year ever, it's not even funny. I generally always have such a good time whenever I'm there, and I want to make the best out of the time I have. We're having an indoor drumline this year, which will be starting basically right after marching band's over. I'm not sure how much it's going to conflict with the winter show, but I have to say that if it's between the two... I'm going to go with band. I don't want to talk about it much, but pit has so much more positive energy. I want to be around people that are optimistic and positive, not always negative. But I digress.
As for college, it's so funny that I'm starting to apply. If things go as planned, I will be somewhere in New York City, going for Musical Theater. Like I said, I just want to be around positive people, who honestly want to be there for the love of singing, dancing, and acting-- not ulterior motives. I'm done with fake, bitchy people. I mean, I guess I will be struggling with those sort of people for the rest of my life, but maybe I'll find other people in the city. I may not be the best singer, dancer, or actor, by any means, but I want to be trained in this, in the city that musical theater is such a big part of. And I'm going to be working towards this for... what, the next year? I just got an amazing voice teacher who is going to help me sosososo much. I can do this, I know it. I believe what's happened in the past few years has made me who I am. It's made me tougher. I definitely haven't always gotten what I wanted, and I don't think it would truly be considered life if I did. Life's supposed to be tough sometimes. I think not always getting what I want has made me accept failures more gracefully. What would I do if I had always gotten what I wanted, and then all of a sudden, I didn't get something? But in this business, especially, it's made me want this more, if anything. It's made me work harder, make choices for myself which may not be the best thing at the moment, but the best thing for me in the long run. I'm rambling. It's late. I don't think any of what I just said made any sense. I have voice tomorrow. Bye. |
